Here are some fun and genuine excerpts of drinking stages taken exclusively from the diary of a party animal.
Starting at zero, Stone cold sober. Brain as sharp as an army bayonet
"you needed sunglasses to open the fridge and realization struck that last night was awesome"
• Here comes the first sip! When that first drop of deliciousness hits your tongue, your mind and body are taken to another place. You know you are now ready to get weird.
• The Buzz and Your whole body feels warm and cozy and you feel like you are one giant vibrating being. Everything becomes twenty times as exciting as it was a half hour ago: music sounds better, everyone becomes more attractive, and conversations feel more and more important as they become significantly louder.
• Your best buddy.This is the point in the night where conversations reach their peak volume. Suddenly everybody in the bar is your new best friend and you are dying to tell them your life story. You promise to stay in touch, take your new BFF’s phone number, and head to the bathroom where you forget about him/her forever.
• Music hits different.You hear your favorite song and make sure that everyone in the bar knows that you know all of the lyrics. You hit the dance floor and sing/scream about 90% of the lyrics, sippin’ on your drink whenever your brain comes up short.
• Cant switch off the Party Mode.It’s getting late but you are nowhere near ready to stop the party. You do not care if your buddy has got work in the morning, NO! This is going to be the best night ever! The sun does not come up for a whole three hours! You don’t care if your friend loses his job ,you’re ordering more shots.
• The Hunger pangs.You are suddenly starving. You cannot go another minute without getting a taco, or a burger they are not just foods now they are the bucket list.
• The Journey Home with amnesia breezeAfter eating half of your body weight, you slip into food coma. You are tired as hell and ready to crash. You jump in a cab and head home. The cabbie wakes you up and you stumble up your stairs and into your bed, destroying everything in your path. You are done and you crash hard.
• The HangoverYou wake up in the morning with a pounding headache, sick to your stomach, with some spaghetti sauce all over your face. You check your phone to see thirty new numbers in it of people who you have never heard of. You remember that “cutie” from the bar and your stomach starts to hurt even worse.